Stranded in an Abyss
by Eternally Seventeen
Summary: Peter betrays his friends in their seventh year at Hogwarts and the rest of them flee. Shrouded in fear, Lily loses herself to severe depression and trauma...until, finally, a welcome distraction comes her way. -Oneshot!-


**A/N: **This is slightly AU, though it does follow canon ages and characterisations :) Hope you like it :)

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**Stranded in an Abyss**

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The first time James told her, she almost didn't believe him.

"It beeped, it really did. And only when _he_ was around. I had to cast silencing charms to keep the bloody thing from getting me kicked out of transfiguration!"

Her eyebrows raised in question and his eyes pleaded in return_. Believe me._

She overheard Remus telling it to Sirius the second time, his eyes filled with terror as he recounted the episode. From what Lily could make out of the conversation, it sounded as though the sneakoscope had started wailing away in the dead of the night and was Remus who'd silenced it this time. It's beeping had just so happened to coincide with the rather odd timing of Peter's entry into the dorm post-midnight.

Lily's suspicions aroused, she kept her eyes on the mousy little boy who seemed to worship the very ground her boyfriend walked on. But he'd underestimated her sweet nature for blind tolerance; his second grave mistake.

The first one, of course, had been to sell his best friends to the devil.

"They were right," she hissed angrily as she caught his collar and shook him like the rat he was. He cowered under her furious gaze, frightened at having been discovered and too terrified to stay loyal to them.

"How could this happen?" She stared angrily into his beady eyes, desperate for him to say something, anything really to explain his atrocious behaviour. When she got nothing, however, she lost her temper

"You bloody nitwit!" She swore not-so-subtly and slapped him right across the face, causing the inhabitants of the nearby portraits to cover their ears as they exchanged scandalised expressions.

"What have you gone and done? Do you realise we could be dead within weeks?"

He didn't give her a reply then – he never did. His eyes caught her in an agonised glare and then he transformed into Wormtail and scampered away, zig-zagging within shadows.

They all left Hogwarts a week later and sought grim respite at Sirius' foreboding mansion.

The liquor flowed freely every night; none of the four friends were able to fathom the reasons for Peter's betrayal. Now that they all had a price on their heads, what did it really mean to survive, and how was it so different from living?

Lily was losing herself to the terror that gripped her every waking moment and ripped her mind apart in her sleep. The fire in her emerald eyes was now a little more than a pile of ash and she refused to move. The bed had learnt the contours of her body as she cuddled up in it, clutching on to the blanket like it could save her life. Her friends had become nothing more than voices she would strain her ears to listen to, because she wanted to know that they were alive. No one was allowed in to the tiny room she had declared as her own at Grimmauld Place, not even James.

The stifling stillness of the night was often pierced by her screams as her trapped mind danced to the death in a battlefield made of her nightmares and James rushed to her side, the tears trickling down his cheeks as he watched her thrash around with wild abandon. It was only then he lay down by her side, soothing her damp hair and whispering sweet nothings into her ears and kissing her trembling eyes in a desperate attempt to get her back to him

This went on for weeks, and James was going mad with grief.

It was Sirius who saved the day, really. One day he was busy cursing his entire lineage, spending hours together in the tapestry room only to emerge with swollen eyes and a hastily mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it". That had been a full moon night and he and James had had quite a time restraining their best friend in as he nearly chewed great hunks of their flesh of.

Lily was nowhere to be found. James would later find her entwined in sheets that were damp with sweat and blood. She'd scratched herself repeatedly in her sleep, gripped by a terror she alone could feel and never explain.

"Take her away, James." Sirius' voice was low and quiet, and there was not a trace of alcohol on his breath.

"What?" James blinked with confusion.

"I said, take her away!" He roared suddenly, and James jumped. "She's killing herself here, James, how can you be so blind?"

"We're needed here!" James replied, torn. In his mind's eye, he saw Lily at the Order meetings where she sat, cool yet aloof, the first to come up with the most ingenuous of plans and the last to leave the table. He saw her flit about the kitchen nervously, cooking food for the rest of them but hardly eating any. He saw her denying his touches and anyone's advances as she drew deeper and deeper into himself, and he saw the deep bleeding cuts on her forearm from when she'd gauged herself in her nightmare. He felt her pulse treble when a knock sounded at the door as she prepared for her death over and over again every day, and suddenly James felt stabs of guilt at his heart.

Her screams scattered his thoughts into smoky wisps of fear that clenched at his heart, and he nodded grimly at Sirius.

"You can hold up without us for a week or so, right?"

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Trust me. If anything happens, we'll owl you. Now please, get Lil out of here."

James ran up the stairs two at a time and burst into Lily's room with a mini explosion that startled her right out of her nightmares.

"Wh…where…"

He was by her side at once, cradling her head in his lap and kissing her tear-stained cheeks.

"I love you, James," she choked out then, and her words were his undoing. The floodgates burst open, allowing weeks of frustration and fear and worry to cascade through his eyes.

"I love you so much, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm taking you out of here, okay? I promise."

And after what felt like eternity, they spent the night in each other's arms.

When Sirius opened the door two weeks later, he was greeted by two faces he hardly recognised.

He'd bid nervous farewells to a gaunt, pale-faced Lily and nearly anorexic James who'd both slumped as they'd disapparated to Scotland. There was a little bread and breakfast that James had seen his parents go off to when they needed to celebrate years of married life and take a welcome break from the banalities of raising a hyperactive little child, and it was right by a lake. Everyone who knew Lily knew how much she loved all lakes and beaches; in fact, it was Remus who had reminded James of the little inn.

Two healthy faces smiled at his bewildered expression. Their eyes still spoke of fatigue, and James was still a little bent over. But there was more flesh on their bones than they'd gone with, and Sirius was grateful.

"Remus!" he called out as he ushered the couple into the house. He padded out to the foyer, smiling gently.

"How are you two?" he questioned carefully, and smiled as Lily and James simultaneously turned to each other.

Lily was the first to speak.

"Alive. I finally feel alive after Merlin knows how long, and I can never thank you enough for dragging me out of the torture I was going through every single day."

James pulled her close to his side, promising right then and there to never let her out of his sight.

"I agree with her. Thank you, Padfoot and Moony," he said softly.

They grinned wolfishly at James and Lily.

"What are best friends for?"

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**A/N: **Just in case anything wasn't clear, Peter has betrayed the Marauders and Lily in the sense that he has told him that his friends are working against him and Lily, who is usually so vivacious and not used to living in fear, gets plagued by nightmares and sinks into major depression. She can fight and she is brave, but she can't live shrouded in fear. Which is why a welcome break was needed :)

I hope you liked the story!

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Entered in:

The Race to the Top of Mount Potter, prompt – angst

The Obstacle Course Competition, Round 3, Het chain 1 (with James/Lily – all prompts used!)


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